Focus on Your Values

Do you know what is really important to you? When push comes to shove important? Like the house is burning down, what do you grab important? (The kids… the dogs…)

So often you say one thing is important, but your actions deliver a different message.

I say exercise is important to me. On an intellectual level, I know exercise is one of the Big 3 most critical determinants of a healthy person. (The other two being sleep and what you eat or don’t eat.)

But as I’ve said many times, knowing is not DOING. DOING is DOING.

You know HOW to lose weight.

Actually losing weight is a horse of a different color.

So many people complain about feeling stuck, or in overwhelm from all they have to do. What that tells me is that those people are out of alignment.

Like your car tires. You hit a bump in the road and your tires go out of alignment. Now your car doesn’t run at its best. The tires wear down unevenly. You’re going to have issues.

The same with you. When you are out of alignment with what you say is important vs. what you actually make important, you are out of alignment.

What can you do to get re-aligned? For your car, it’s easy. Bring it to the shop and the mechanic fixes it. Poof. Car’s better. Wallet lighter.

For you as a person… not so simple.

One of the most critical aspects of personal alignment is knowing your values.

The big V word Values gets thrown around a lot. Most people are pretty muddy when it comes to understanding their values.

That’s because values differ.

Values are like fingerprints. Nobody’s are the same, but you leave them all over everything you do.

Elvis Presley

Types of Values

Aspirational Values

Three types of values are discussed here. First off, you have aspirational values. These are what you ASPIRE to be, do, or have. You aren’t there yet, but you’re driven to get there.

For me, this is my glamour streak. I want to be glamorous. In my mind, I’m glamourous.

But the reality is, putting on make-up and fancy clothes is not something I do naturally. It’s not a part of who I am. I’m more casual. But I still have that aspirational value of glamour.

Aspirational values require work on your part. They are not naturally who you are.

This is the key point of separation between aspirational values and core values.

Core Values

Your core values are who you are at the core. Maybe you aspire to be intellectual, but when you have free time, you choose tennis or running because you are athletic and love and thrive on competition and movement. You try to read books, you may have even read some books, but your preference is for physical activity.

How you spend your free time is a reflection of who you really are. Maybe you connect with friends because connection and being social are a critical part of who you are.

Maybe you do a lot of volunteer work because giving back is important to you or helping those who are less fortunate.

Maybe you spend your free time with your family because those are the relationships you value the most.

Unlike aspirational values, core values do not change over time. What was important to you when you were 5 is still going to be important to you when you are 35 or 65 or 95. They may manifest differently, but these aspects of who you are don’t change.

Valor values rise up when all else is gone. It is the part of you that remains strong in the face of your worst enemy.

Alicia Berberich

Valor Values

Valor values go even deeper. Valor values are what you would fight for, give your life for. They draw out your inherent bravery and courage.

Like the mother reported to have lifted a car that fell on her son—family is her valor value.

Like the person who is told they will never again walk, and yet they find the strength within them to rise above the challenge and become what they are meant to become.

The valor value draws on all of your personal strength and indominable spirit and fills you with a sense of boldness beyond what others perceive you to be capable of.

It is Bilbo Baggins standing up to the King, Harry Potter drawing on all the power of his family to conquer Voldemort, Katniss rising to her full capabilities.

Your Valor Values are tapped into during times of extreme duress when you need to go beyond. You know what is right and you pursue it at all costs.

You are fully stepping into your greatest self. It takes a marriage of timing, opportunity, and the right valor value.

Churchill rose to the situation when others couldn’t. Kennedy stood firm when he had to.

How can you use your valor values

What does that mean for you and me? How will valor values come into play for those of us not on world stages or fighting the dark lord?

You encounter temptations every day. The biggest battle you may face is against yourself. You’re trying to lose weight, and that wicked devil on your shoulder encourages you to have dessert. You resist. But he is relentless. “Come on. You deserve it. What’s one cookie going to do? It won’t bring you down. You are thin. You can do it.”

He is wicked. He knows all of your buttons.

But you resist because you have a great why then listening to that inner voice. You have now tapped into the power of your valor values.

Same story when you don’t want to exercise, but you do it anyway. You have tapped into your inner strength. Your valor values.

Once you know your valor values, you can tap into that strength every day. Every time you need it. You can embody Katniss pulling an arrow out of her quiver and prepare yourself for your act of bold determination.

Whether it’s to harness your strength to resist the “Call of the Cookies” or the push to do your workout, know that above all else, you are driven to _______________ (fill in with your valor value) will be the impetus you need to rise to the occasion.

For me, Focused Determination is my valor value and also my anthem that pushed me forward when I need an extra kick. Focused determination will get me to the goal post of whatever I am doing.

What is your valor value? Knowing it empowers you to move forward and achieve what you want to achieve.

Need help determining your values?

If you are looking for clarity on how to move forward in your life… if you are at a crossroad and unsure how to advance, if you can’t figure out your purpose and calling, and yearn to have direction, I currently have availability for one new client. Or, if you are interested in a VIP 2-day program to start to discern your path, I have space for that. Email me back and we can talk about the options.

Best,

Alicia

PS: According to the Totalitarian principle of physics, everything you CAN be you MUST be. Find out what more you can be today.