Turn your people-pleasing ways into a personal strength with these strategies and reclaim your personal power.
Harness these Two Key Forces
People-pleasing tendencies can be channelled into genuine strengths by harnessing the power of emotional intelligence and effective communication. People-pleasing often arises from a fear of rejection or a desire for validation. The key is understanding the underlying motivational force leading to people-pleasing behavior. Once you have an awareness of the root problem, you can go all in to solving it.
The Starting Point is Awareness
First of all, gain awareness of your actions. When are you using people-pleasing strategies? Does this strategy align with your goals and core values?
What are your own emotional triggers and responses? Are you acting out of fear or insecurity?
I notice that I fall into people-pleasing when I want to be liked and accepted. I want to be helpful and needed. I want to be included. As a child, I always felt like I was on the outside. Never a part of the in crowd or even the out crowd. Just a loner…
Did you see the Netflix show, “Sex Education”?
OK. It’s not new, I’m just slow to watch TV. It’s about a British high school and the ups and downs of the teens. An emotional roller coaster. But you can really witness people-pleasing among the students. As you watch TV going forward, watch for cues of people pleasing. It’s interesting.
Lead with Empathy
People-pleasers are naturally strong in the area of empathy. They can attune into the needs and feelings of others very quickly. This empathy is a powerful tool when used appropriately. When you are listening to others, stay present and don’t lose sight of your own needs and boundaries. Balance empathy with self-respect. Be aware of your own limits and communicate them.
Communicate Your Need Effectively
When speaking, use “I” statements to communicate your feelings and needs. Focus on developing collaboration instead of conflict. Let everyone express their views.
Authenticity is the cornerstone of meaningful relationships. By being true to yourself, you can form deeper and more genuine connections.
Conclusion
By leveraging emotional intelligence and effective communication, you can transform people-pleasing habits into powerful strengths. This will enhance your interpersonal skills, enable you to meet your own needs, and support others. It will be a win-win for everyone.
That brings our 5-part series on People Pleasing to a fine conclusion. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to email me. If you are looking for a coach to guide you on your journey, click the link below to schedule a discovery call. Have a great week-end.
Remember, change takes time. Be patient and kind to yourself as you practice these new skills.