Before the change
Before, the girls gathered every morning with their large urns to walk the mile to the river to get the water their families needed for the day. Each girl had a specific, much-needed role in her family—to fetch the water. For the girls, it was a great responsibility. It was their role in the family to be the water gatherer—the Aquarian.
For the girls, it was a time to gather together, talk, to hear what was happening in other families, to travel together down their path of life to get the water. Then, the long journey back bearing the heavy urns.
They made the journey each day.
If they didn’t make the journey, their family wouldn’t have the water that was needed for cooking, cleaning, and drinking.
It was an important role these girls held in their families.
Outsiders looking in
Then, some foreigners came in and decided there was a better way. A more efficient way.
They installed plumbing and brought the water from the river right up to the village.
It was a miracle.
Water right into the village.
How very 21st century.
But now, the girls have no reason to gather and walk together to talk about what is happening in their lives. They no longer have a time to share their hopes and dreams and frustrations.
They are no longer pivotal members of the tribe because instead of having to go and make the journey to bring the water to their families, the water is right there, in the center of village.
The girls have lost their position of importance. They didn’t have a purpose.
They don’t have a job anymore.
A void has been created.
While the foreigners thought they were doing a good thing, saving these girls from having to carry heavy water every day to their families, in actuality they took away the girls’ purpose.
The girls had no place now.
They lost their connection.
When mom loses her connection
This is what happens when you’re a mom and suddenly you have no kids left at home. You’re a mom, but there is no one left to cook and clean for in the same way.
As your kids become independent, at first you are thrilled with the sudden sense of freedom at no longer having to bear the burden of responsibility.
But then that thrill dissipates because you have also lost your connection to that sense of worth that had sustained you for so long… so many years.
The tether has been cut.
Your sense of groundedness has slipped away.
How do you find a new sense of meaning in a world that has shifted?
Fashion your future
That is exactly the question that is asked in the Fashion Your Future program. How do you find a new sense of meaning when things have changed?
The answer takes time.
First you have to re-evaluate what’s important for you. Re-align with your values, gain a greater understanding of your strengths, and how you fit into the world. Then you need to identify what you’re passionate about. Can you list 25 things you are passionate about? Be clear! Because hidden in those passions you will find your future.
But, as you know, passion is not enough. You must also know what are the places where you can be of service in the world. That is finding the biggest hunger and marrying your passion to the world’s greatest need. Not the world’s greatest need ALONE, but the world’s need couples with your passion. Find the intersection.
And when you have that intersection, go deep. Really dig in to see where your strengths and skills can contribute to the needs.
It doesn’t have to be overwhelming.
For my mom, her one of strengths and passion revolved around gardening. She loved to garden. She began volunteering at the San Francisco Arboretum. They needed someone who could identify bulbs. She could do that. So she became the bulb specialist. It wasn’t something that changed the world as a whole, but it changed her world. She was greatly needed in the capacity she served. The Arboretum was happy to have someone who could devote the time and energy to an underserved area. My mom loved “digging in” and learning more about bulbs. It was a win-win situation.
What about you? What is something you love to do?
Being able to identify what you love is surprisingly not that simple.
Take some time and mull it over.
What is it you love to do?
What brings you joy in the doing?
Too often you can get focused on the outcomes and miss the process. That is what happened in the village. The engineers could easily create a better end results of water pumped right into the village. What they missed was that the process of getting the water, while difficult, gave joy and meaning to the lives of the girls.
How do you replace the joy and meaning?
Once you’ve been a mom and found joy and meaning in that, how do you replace it when the kids have grown and are more independent and no longer need you in the same way?
Where do you get your joy and fulfillment?
For some of the girls in the village, they found a new life in selling trinkets to the tourists who visited them. But many of the girls became lethargic and unmotivated. They missed the connection and sense of worth that came from their role.
The evolution of change in life can be difficult to master.
Alicia Berberich
The evolution of change in a life can be challenging to master. The key is to harness the power of transitions to re-evaluate and make conscious decisions how you want to move forward. What is going to be your next positive step forward instead of leaving it to chance.
Take the reins of your future and guide your destiny along the path of your choice. If you leave it to chance, you get what’s left over after others have chosen their way.
If you are looking for a roadmap for choosing your next steps, or you know someone who does, you can click here and download the free checklist for how to fashion your future.
Be all that you are meant to be. Fashion your future to fit your desires. Don’t settle for remnants when you can have a custom-made design.
Click the link and begin your journey forward.
Things you don’t want to miss…
- Style by Audrey Instagram
- Order my book, Power Up Your Productivity, from Amazon today
- Read more about Fashion Your Future
Have a great week!
Alicia