Feeling Stuck?

Is fear of making a decision keeping you from moving forward with your life?

Are you waiting for the right information before you step into your future?

Are you searching for answers before you move into action?

Are you haunted by indecision?

What’s that all about?

Maybe you’re like the Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz, unable to make the right decisions because you can’t think… you don’t have a brain.

Or maybe you are held back because, like the Lion, you lack the courage to move forward.

Or perhaps you are like the Tin Woodman and you can’t move forward with your life because you don’t have a heart to guide you.

Maybe you are more like Dorothy and want someone else to show you the way to get to where you want to go.

As you learned from The Wizard of Oz, each character already had all of the information they needed to get what they wanted.

What they lacked was the belief in themselves to move forward.

“Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.”

~Mark Twain

Indecision cripples you

It prevents you from achieving your goals, reaching your dreams, and creating the life you want.

The question is, how do you overcome indecision to create the life you want?

Indecision occurs for many reasons.

You might know what you want to do, but you feel your actions won’t be received well, so you wallow.

Or you might feel like you’re not able to achieve your desired outcome.

Or you put other’s desires before your own.

Or you don’t want to face the ramifications of your decision.

Indecision can look like procrastination. Or lack of focus or motivation. Or you can feel tired, lack energy or desire.

The inability of make a decision can show up in different ways.

However it shows up, there is ONE way to overcome indecision. That is through ACTION.

It doesn’t matter how indecision shows up for you, if you move to taking the next right step right in front in front of you, that will be the spark you need to take the next right step.

On making hard decisions

I know because I have suffered from the hands of indecision. One incident in particular comes to mind.

Marriage.

You see, I view marriage as a long term commitment. I make a decision, then I stick with it.

A client of mine had a different philosophy of marriage: “Stick with it until it doesn’t work anymore, then move on.” That is more of the Post-it note philosophy of marriage.

That was not my idea. My idea was along the lines of Superglue. Once I committed, I was in for the long haul.

But that’s a lot of pressure to put on a relationship. I had to be really sure about my decision. I knew what divorce felt like because my parents were divorced and I didn’t want to go through that. I took the commitment seriously.

My husband knew me well. He knew I would be unable to make a decision like that. I would be crippled by the weight of the decision.

So he never asked me to make that decision.

Instead he asked me if I would be available for a blood test that was required to get married at the time. All I had to do was commit to a blood test. From there, we could move on to the marriage.

I could commit to a blood test. That didn’t take so much. I could do that. And then show up 3 days later at the church at the right time.

What he did was create small steps that we could take together to move in the desired direction. Each step was doable.

How to Make Major Decisions

When you have a major decision to make, break it down into small, doable actions that will lead you to the desired outcome.

If you want to write a book, don’t worry about the whole book. Start with the end. What do you want the reader to know by the end of the book? Then figure out what story you could tell to make that point. Then what would lead up to that?

If you want to be “healthy” what would that look like for you? Maybe start with a mindset shift and say to yourself every day, “I am healthy and treat my body the way it deserves to be treated.” The more you say that to yourself, the more you will begin to treat yourself that way.

If you are indecisive about which job to take, think about what it would look like each day going to work at the different jobs. Who are the people you would meet? What kind of work would you be doing? Is that the kind of job you are looking for? Break it down into the smallest steps and see if those steps are the ones you want to take with your one “wild and precious life” as Mary Oliver would say.

You become immobile because you are biting off more than you can chew and you become overwhelmed and gag on the portion.

Break it down into bite-sized pieces.

Those will digest better.

Indecision can feel like anxiety, worry or even depression.

Shift your thought pattern

Another way to shift your thought process is to focus on gratitude.

Instead of looking at all you have to do, look at what you are grateful for. It could be something as simple as warm slippers to put on when you get out of bed, or for the cheery smile of your dog who greets you when you come home, or the hot cup of tea that warms your fingers.

You can’t be angry and grateful at the same time. Once you feel the sensation of gratitude, you can clear your mind of the negative and focus on what you want going forward.

Clarity comes from action

Clarity comes not from sitting and thinking, but from action. The more you are able to clear your mind of the heavy thought process, and shift your body into action, the better you will be at making a decision.

And once you’ve made a decision, you will be able to see the results of your actions. If the results are not in alignment with what you desire, you can shift your tiller and change the direction of your rudder. But unless you take the initial action, you will never know.

Wearing a white scientist’s coat to keep the mind frame of an experimenter will help you in your process. The more you try things out, the more results you will see and the more you will know what doesn’t work and the closer you will be to discovering what will work.

When you make a decision, you “cut yourself off” from other choices. You are traveling on a decision tree. When one path doesn’t work, shift to a different path. Learn by doing.

“Every decision is easy once you make it. The important thing is to think carefully, make your decision and then work to make your choice the right one. That is the secret to a happy life. There are very few wrong decisions in life, but very few people who are willing to make their decisions the right ones.”

~John Kramer

If you enjoyed this article, you might enjoy my Medium.com article, https://psiloveyou.xyz/how-can-you-help-your-friend-cope-through-a-personal-crisis-10705498596f

You might also like these other blog posts, https://www.aliciaberberich.com/values-to-create-the-life-you-want/

If you would like some style advice, my daughter Audrey has a fun new site on Instagram, https://www.instagram.com/style.by.audrey/