My friend has had a goal she wants to accomplish. She wants to write a book. She’s been talking about it for A LONG TIME. She’s a great writer, creative and entertaining. She has an idea. She has the time… (hello COVID)… but if I even mention it to her… off with my head. 

She feels like she’s making progress. She’s taken classes in writing and story arcs and all that. She’s got “writer’s software” (Scrivner). She’s taken classes in that. She joined a writing group for support. 

The problem is, she doesn’t write. 

To be a writer, you only need to do one thing.

And that is… to write. 

If you want to be a PUBLISHED author, then you have to write AND hit the publish button. 

Both of those require writing. 

(I guess you could publish a blank book…)

My friend is dancing around her goal, but to accomplish it, she has to attack it head on and . 

Lately, I’ve noticed I’ve been suffering the same avoidance plight. 

I’ve wanted to publish on Medium, but for some reason, I haven’t hit that Publish button. 

I keep wanting to make the article better. Find better groups within Medium to submit my article to. I verify the formatting. I change the visual. I adjust my biography.  

But in the end, I will NEVER achieve my goal to publish on Medium until I hit that publish button. 

What is holding me back from moving forward?

Could it be fear that no one will read my article? Well, at least my three kids will. And maybe my husband. 

Maybe it’s fear of success, and I’ll never be able to do it again. 

Maybe it’s fear of doing it wrong. It won’t be the first time I did something wrong and I’m pretty sure it won’t be the last. 

I decided I need to reframe my situation. 

I employed a technique used by most parent:

I asked myself, “What is the worst that will happen if I don’t do [X] where X = publish my article?”

These are the responses I came up with:

• Feel like a failure
• Live the rest of my life with a feeling of regret
• I could keep on studying the “how to publish…” keeping the hope alive
• I would continue to watch others pass my by
• I would have to live with “coulda-woulda-shoulda”
• I would always be in the audience and never in the arena (major Bjorklund faux pas)

Then I asked myself what would happen if I tried and failed. These are the options I came up with: I would:

• Feel humiliated
• Crawl under the cover and regret even trying
• Learn what didn’t work
• Be able to do better next time

After that, I decided I needed to reframe the whole process. There is no trying. Just do it. I call it the Yoda Nike Method. If you try and fail, well, you were only trying…it wasn’t a full-on effort. Yoda taught us that in Star Wars. If you are committed to doing it, a failure is a lesson in what doesn’t work. This puts you that much closer to what can work. All that is required is Forward Momentum. 

Take Action. 

To be a writer, you have to write. 

To be a published writer, you have to hit the publish button. 

Benjamin Hardy, Ph.D., author of Personality isn’t Permanent, said to have a clear picture in your mind of who you want to be in 10 years. That is your Future Self. Then work backward to today. What do you have to do today to be the person you want to be in 10 years? Start in the direction you want to go. Adjust along the way. 

The Pilot flying from Los Angeles to JFK starts out in the right direction. But winds push him off course and the pilot is constantly course correcting. He knows where he wants to end up, and he knows what he has to do to stay the course. Constant monitoring.

I can’t help my friend write her book. What I can do is lead by example and publish my own writing where I want it to be. Not only do I know what needs to be done, I do it. I take the action necessary to achieve my goal. 

What about you? How do you want to be in 10 years from now? What can you do today that will point you in the direction you want to go? Who are the people you need to hang out with? Remember, you become like the 5 people you hang out with. Choose your friends wisely. 

And all the little decisions you have to make on a daily basis? Make sure to align them to get you where you want to go. One foot in front of the other. Rinse and repeat. 

Have a great week!

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Also, my mentor and friend Marisa Shadrick is offering a complimentary class on how to build your email list. She is heart-centered and really caring. If you are working on building your email list, you will love her programs. She is one of my key mentors.