Have you ever run into someone you knew a long time ago, spent a few minutes catching up, then when you left you thought, “Wow! She hasn’t changed a bit!”? That could be positive or negative. Often, the answer is also a result of that person’s core values.
As you go through your life, you feel like you’ve changed so much, but the truth is, at the core, you are who you are.
Defining Your Core Values
Your core values stay firm over time. Your core values reflect who you are at the core.
When you can identify and claim your core values, you have a unique power.
Knowing your core values helps you to make decisions you feel good about and align with who you are.
When you make decisions that don’t align with your core values, you never feel good about them. You have an inner sense that something is off, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. You’re out of alignment with your core values.
Once you are clear on your core values you can tap into the strength they offer. You will find aspects of your life will fall into place naturally.
You can take that knowledge one step further. Once you know your core values, you can further hone your core values to find what feeds your soul, enriches your spirit, and solidifies who you are. These are unique and I call these Valor Values. They bring out your boldness and determination and help you to tap into your heroic courage.
Knowing your Valor Values make a life-changing difference because now you have something to stand for. Some order in your universe. Some meaning in your choices.
This template is designed to help you demystify your values and tap into your Valor Values so you can take your life to the next level.
Instructions: Part One
Step One: Qualities and Characteristics of Others
Take a piece of paper (or use the following worksheet) and divide it half the long way. On the left side, write the header: People I Detest. Underneath that write the name of the person you detest the most. Then write the qualities or characteristics of that person that lead you to detest him/her. Repeat as necessary. Maybe you have 1-3 people you feel that strongly about.
Then turn your paper over to the other side. On top of that, write the heading: People I Admire. Underneath that, follow the same exercise. Write the name of the person you most admire and the characteristics about them that you admire. Write down at least 3 people whom you admire with their characteristics.
Analysis
Examine what you have written. The qualities that you most admire in others are the qualities you project. The qualities of the people you most detest are the qualities you have that you have to monitor. Reflect more on these qualities and write your thoughts below.
Step Two: Discerning Your Valor Values (AKA: Honing Your Core Values)
The next page includes a long list of values.
- The first time you read through the list, put a mark by the ones that call to you.
- Next, look at the ones you’ve marked and ask, “Is this a CORE value or is this something I ASPIRE to be? Does this represent who I am, or who I want to be?” (People often confuse their core and aspirational values, so pay close attention here)
- Once you have clearly identified your CORE values, go through the ones you’ve marked and pick at ones that represent you at the core.
- On the following page, make a list of your Core Values and Aspirational Values in the appropriate columns.
Now take it a step further.
Your Valor Values are the ones that energize you and feed your soul. When you step into them, you feel like yourself, only stronger and braver. That is why they give you heroic courage.
Look through your list again and identify the ones that truly give you strength. These are your Valor Values.
(As you dig deeper into your values, check out this post next: Understand Your Values to Create the Life You Want)
Check for Fit
During the next few weeks, keep this list close at hand and review it often.
Ask yourself, “how does what happened today reflect my core and valor values?” Or, when you have to make a decision, review your core and valor values and see how these can help you make the best choice. You want to validate that the values you have chosen are the right ones for you. Unlike aspirational values that can change over time, the core and valor values grow deeper.
Sometimes when you are figuring out your values, two words appear similar, like inner harmony and calm, or inquisitiveness and curiosity, or creativity and originality, or determination and perseverance and tenacity, or perfection and thoroughness. Pay attention to ensure you have selected the right one for you.
When deciding on their core values, some people feel they resonate with almost all of the choices and can’t limit their choice to a few. This usually indicates they are focusing on sub-core values or components of their core values.
If you look harder, you will find a word that encompasses all of the words you are drawn to. For example, if you have discernment, learning, and intelligence as core values, you might collect those under the knowledge umbrella. If you have kindness, loyalty, and respect, you might group those under friendship. Look for a higher-order word that encompasses the words you are naturally drawn to.
When you make your core and valor values an active part of your life you will see how they help in making decisions.
Make sure your decisions are aligned with your values. When your values are out of alignment, you feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and dissatisfied.
Fashion your future in a way that aligns with who you are at your core.
Next Steps
If these exercises have been useful for you, consider the Valor Values eBook. It will help you identify what is truly important to you, and use that information to simplify and strengthen your decision-making.
My mission is to help 1000 women discover their calling for the next phase of their lives and so they can develop a plan to achieve their dreams. Identifying their core and valor values is the first, foundational step.
If you would like to understand how this whole system works to help you achieve your legacy goal to fashion your future, you can read more about that program here.
Remember: check in with your valor and core values every day to align your actions with your values.
Did you find this valor and core values template helpful?
Here are three more posts to read next: