Family Food Legacy

It was getting late… almost 6 pm… Gunnar was out of town… the kids were young and asking what’s for dinner. As usual, I had no plan. It was time for “Refrigerator Surfing” in hopes that there was something there that would make do. Rice… tomato sauce… cheddar cheese (commonly known as “orange cheese” in our house).

I put the (already cooked) rice in a microwave safe dish, added the tomato sauces, shredded the orange cheese on top, and nuked it until the cheese was bubbly. Dinner was on the table in less than 10 minutes. The kids looked at it and then looked up at me… “What is it?” they innocently asked. “Pizza Rice,” came my response. Their faces brightened. “YUM!” They ate all of it. Every last kernel.

For years, when I asked, “what should I make for dinner?” they replied, “Pizza Rice!” It became part of our family food legacy lexicon.

Gunnar always looked at me with a query in his eye…

I never explained.

Food Evokes Memories

Over Thanksgiving dinner this year, Madde detailed the Pizza Rice story. That was after I asked them what were their favorite meals.

Honestly, I HAVE cooked some decent meals. I’m not a great cook, but I can follow a recipe. Well, ok. That’s a blatant lie. I hate following recipes except when baking where precision matters… I’m pretty ad-lib.

But the memory that lingers on in the kids’ mind is Pizza Rice.

All the times I slaved to make them something wonderful… and it’s Pizza Rice that they  dream of…

We All Have Those Legacy Moments

I remember as a child one time when my dad was out of town, which was fairly normal, my mom couldn’t decide what to make for dinner. She ended up putting together a fabulous fruit tray that included canned mandarin oranges, canned cherries, canned pineapple, bananas, and apple slices. We four kids thought it was the best dinner EVER.

She never made that meal again either. Even though we asked for it many times.

Food evokes memories.

And since eating regularly is a thing, you probably have lots of memories around food.

Family History

This Thanksgiving, I received an email from Karen Kleppe Lembo. She included a photo of a recipe card she had for carrot soup. Not just ANY carrot soup. The recipe card said the recipe was from Pat Dante Berberich. Elsie, Karen’s mom, had gone to grammar school with my mom. My mom, Pat, had shared her favorite carrot soup recipe with Elsie. Now that recipe is a family food legacy for the Kleppe-Lembos.

My mom’s carrot soup is made by all of my siblings.

My mom is not known for her great cooking. We had pretty much the same 9 recipes in rotation, my entire childhood. (Sadly, one of those was liver and onions and another was stuffed bell peppers… )

And of course, the carrot soup.

Of all the things my mom could be remembered for, how crazy is it that she’s remembered for her carrot soup. Or for ANY food other than her chocolate chip cookies and apricot nut bread. She had perfected those recipes.

Well, she had perfected ALL of her recipes because she made them so many times. She followed her recipes to the T. No substitutions or strange new additions were ever made. There were no pecans substituting for walnuts. Or butter used instead of (cringe…) Crisco. The recipe was the recipe. And that is how she did EVERYTHING. No flexibility. No substitutes. No additions.

Your Cooking Style is Your Style

Your personality is reflected in your cooking style. I’m very flexible, shoot from the hips, go with what there is kind of person and kind of cook.

The opposite of my mom.

Crazy that.

I rarely make the same recipe twice, except for my salmon and fruited rice recipes. And even those get changed up all the time.

What does your cooking style say about you? Flexible? Precise? Lax? Adaptable?

Is that how you do EVERYTHING?

Food is such an important part of our lives and so many memories revolve around food—thinking, shopping, preparing, eating, cleaning up after… rinse and repeat.

What is your cooking saying about you that those around you will remember and talk about?

My mom would want people to remember her undying devotion to the Catholic church—the years she dedicated to St. Dominic’s. All the marriages she coordinated. All the masses she led with her beautiful singing. All the chalices she polished and linens she ironed.

But few there remember her. Others have filled those shoes.

But no one has filled the carrot soup recipe.

No one can.

Because it’s connected to the memories. They are inexplicably tied together.

Karen knows my mom only through the soup.

She doesn’t know how my mom meticulously cut the carrots into uniform size even though they were going to be pureed.

She doesn’t know how my mom measured everything exactly… leaving nothing to chance.

Or how she made exactly enough for the six of us with no leftovers.

Everything carefully measured out equally. Fairly. Everything had to be fair.

The carrot soup is a perfect reflection of who she was and who she would be, if she could.

How she makes her soup differs from how I make mine or how either of my sisters make theirs or my brother makes his.

Everyone has their own method which reflects who they are as a person.

How you do one thing is how you do everything.

Take note of how you do things. And note also that that is how you will be remembered. Not through the big things that you do, but the little everyday things that you do.

I will be remembered by my Pizza Rice.

Maybe because I only made it one time.

But that is the memory that stands out in my kids’ minds.

What will your family food legacy be? When you all sit around the table and talk about different meals shared together… what do they share about you?

Be sure to find humor in the stories and remember the emotions evoked in the meals. What you might consider a failure might in fact be the unifying meal of your family. So relish the humor and pickle your pride and savory the moments together.

They all pass too quickly…

Hugs,

Alicia

PS: One way to save your family memories is to write legacy letters. My friend Melanie Vetter offers a course in writing legacy letters. These letters are more like gifts. As the holiday are around the corner, why not give a different kind of gift this season. Try giving legacy letters to your kids, friends, or family members. You will touch their hearts as well as their souls. Here’s a link to Melanies website> https://wellfleetcircle.com/.